


What Do You See?

by DarkAlpha67



Series: Shameless Indulgence- Drabbles [8]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Introspection, M/M, Mickey's View of Yevgeny, Pre-Season/Series 05, Understanding Ian Gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:11:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAlpha67/pseuds/DarkAlpha67
Summary: Mickey watched Ian interact with Yevgeny and can't understand how Ian can stand the kid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I mostly write story where Mickey and Yevgeny have a good relationship but this snuck up on me months ago. I could finish it because the ending seems perfect but also incomplete.
> 
> *
> 
> Mickey's thoughts are out of character, which was one of the reasons this story never felt complete, but I wanted it to sound sincere and if I added a bunch of "F-words" I felt took the emotions out of the story for me. However, I hope it isn't that might of a problem.

He watched them from afar, keeping his distance in fear that he might say something… or worse, do something.

A sickening sensation twisted within his gut and chest as the innocent sound of a baby babbling filled the damn near silent house. Bright green eyes thinned out as a wide grin spread across his pale, pasty skin. Mickey often found himself looking at Ian, like really _look_ at him.

And whenever he did, he always found himself wondering how the hell he got so lucky or, more self-deprecatingly, why the fuck a guy like Ian was with Mickey. He never understood what Ian saw in him, never found a plausible reason as to why this kid, who was way too fucking good for South Side, wanted to be with a piece of shit like him.

Back then, he didn’t question it much. Why stir up shit when all is good, right?

Now though, he wondered what Ian saw in people, and what he saw when he looked at Yevgeny. Mickey had sought out a hint of disgust, sadness, pain, anything when Ian was around the baby but all he found were gentle eyes and bright smiles.

Mickey couldn’t understand how Ian could look at the kid, with the memory of how he was made and not feel repulsed… like Mickey feels every time he lays his eyes on the baby.

Svetlana didn’t get it. All she wanted was for her kid to have a fucking father, and she made sure he got that. She didn’t get that the very sound of her voice made Mickey sick, the fucking smell of her evoked this cocktail of fear and hatred.

“All done, buddy?” Ian’s soft voice drifted through the worn down house.

Mickey remained pressed against the kitchen counter, arms crossed with a beer dangling from his hands. He watched, perplexed, as Ian laughed along with Yevgeny’s high pitched giggled, he stared as his boyfriend lifted the kid up from the chair, holding him close to his chest.

“Hey, Mick. Can you get that blanket for me?” Ian asked, scooping up the dirty plastic bowl. His bright green shirt was stained with baby food, his hair a mess from this morning.

Mickey grunted, glaring at the sight of Ian and Yevgeny as Ian walked them into the kitchen, placing the bowl and spoon on the already growing pile of dishes. Wordless reaching out, Mickey snatched the blue thin blanket where it laid on the counter, tossing it to Ian.

“Thanks.” He smiled, flipping the blanket over his shoulder. “I’m going for a run, take Yev with me. That okay?”

Mickey swallowed. “Fuck do I care?”

Green eyes found his, understanding and soft like always and Mickey hated it and loved it at the same time because Ian understood that Mickey, as much as he was trying, didn’t care what Ian did with Yevgeny. Take him on a run, to the fucking grocery store, he didn’t care. In fact he preferred those little outings because it meant Mickey didn’t have to be around the kid.

There was gurgling sound and Mickey’s eyes dropped, locking on bright blue-green eyes. Tiny lips tugging up into a smile, fat cheeks ticking at the effort. His stomach dropped when a small hand stretched out, fist grabbing at air, directed toward Mickey.

Looking away, Mickey took a gulp of his beer, pushing off the counter. “I’m gonna be at the Alibi, check some shit out over there.”

He walked away from them, ignoring the disgruntled sound that left the baby and Ian’s soft hushes of comfort.

As he exited the house the tightness in his chest, the churning sensation in his gut eased the more distance he got between himself and the house. He really didn’t understand it and he wasn’t going to ask Ian for answers and risk revealing his inner turmoil.

Mickey knew Ian wouldn’t judge him. He loved that about his red head but he feared that whatever reason Ian did give would cast doubt on their love. Ian looked at Mickey and saw something worth loving… but what did he see when he looked at Yevgeny?

No, it’s better he didn’t ask anything. He just had to take it one day at a time and maybe one day he can look at the baby without wanting to puke his guts up. Maybe, Svetlanna will fuck off and take the kid with her and leave him and Ian to be.

Maybe…

 

Maybe…


	2. Chapter 2

Months Later:

 

“Hey, Can I ask you something?”

It’s in the dead of the night, with the windows open to let in cool air, the sheets pooling around their waist and the wind cooling their sweaty chest and back. Mickey, in one of those rare moments where he feel unburdened and relaxed, was lazily carding his fingers through Ian’s hair, enjoying the weight of Ian’s head on his chest and his arm slung over his waist.

“Hmm.” Ian hummed, shifting a little, pressing closer to Mickey as he turned his head, resting his chin on Mickey’s chest. “Sure.”

Mickey swallowed, trying to think. He’d had the words, had a whole thing planned but now, with those earnest green eyes, soft and happy, looking at him, Mickey felt bare. He knew Ian would not let this go, he’d fixate on it if Mickey didn’t ask. He wouldn’t bother Mickey about it, but Mickey knew it would bother him later.

“You…” Mickey inhaled, licking his lips to by some time. “You seemed to like the kid, before I mean. Like you touched him and shit and I was just wondering why?”

“Why?” Ian shifted then, tightening his hold on Mickey as he lifted himself up on his forearm as if to get a better look at Mickey.

“Yeah.”

Mickey fought the urge to not look away, to not say “fuck it”. He’d opened the can, he had asked Ian, now he had to deal with it.

“I don’t know.” At Mickey’s disbelieving frown, Ian continued. “I mean, it’s not like I loved him or anything, not like I do now, but before… he—“ He stopped, eyes on Mickey.

“He what?”

“Fuck…” Ian swallowed, and Mickey knew he wasn’t gonna like what he was about to hear next. “I looked at him, and I kinda saw you. The blue eyes reminded me of you and it looked so happy and innocent. I never got to see that look in your eyes.”

A hand came into view and cupped Mickey’s cheek, thumb stroking his skin.

“You serious?” He asked.

Ian nodded. “I touched him because he seemed happy when I did it. And to see that kind of happiness in his eyes, in _your_ eyes, I don’t know, I just wanted to keep it there. You know?”

Silence fell over them, with Ian waiting patiently for Mickey to say something and Mickey trying to get his thoughts in order. He thought about it and he understand Ian’s behaviour toward the kid now. It took a lot for Mickey to even hold Yevgeny’s hand, much less hold him against his chest like his recently been doing. And all of that, was because of Ian.

Ian didn’t force Yevgeny on Mickey. He distracted the kid when Mickey was the one he wanted, he took over when Svetlana wanted Mickey to be more of a father. Ian was the one he held Yevgeny still when Mickey had reached out, slowly, hesitantly to the kid, letting him grasp his outstretched finger.

“Mick?”

Pulling back to the present, Mickey looked up at Ian, gazing deeply into those green orbs. Silently, Mickey reached up, framing Ian’s face between his palm, drawing him in and meeting him halfway, letting their tongues touch with one sweet lick. The weight of Ian’s warm body lowering down onto him invoked a muffled moan and he let Ian take the lead, allowing him to lick and kiss all he wanted.

They never brought it up again, but Mickey always remembered the conversation whenever Yevgeny grinned up at him or laughed when Mickey said something he found funny even though he didn’t understand what the fuck was being said.

He remembered it when Ian stole Yevgeny.

He remembered it much later when they were both old, dark and red hair faded with gray hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 is a short scene, wherein Mickey does ask Ian and gets his answer. You don't have to read it if you feel the ending to this one is alright.


End file.
